The Myth of the Quick Fix
When I was sober curious, I was certain that quitting alcohol would immediately lead to weight loss, clear skin, perfect sleep, and an overall improvement in everything in my life. I thought alcohol was the root cause of all of my problems and quitting drinking would magically solve them overnight.
Spoiler alert: sobriety is NOT a magic wand.
We as a society have an obsession with quick fixes. We crave instant gratification. However, we also know, deep down, that that’s not how life works. We know that we have to work hard to achieve our goals. We know that the tortoise beats the hare. We know that slow and steady wins the race.
Promising immediate results is a great marketing technique, but it’s not reality. Quitting drinking is a HUGE - and dare I say, necessary - step towards living your best life. But it’s not an immediate solution. Sobriety is a journey, not a destination.
Imagine you’re walking down the road with a super heavy backpack. Giving up alcohol is like dropping that backpack. Your steps feel lighter, and you are filled with hope. You still have to walk the path, but it’s a heck of a lot easier without that heavy weight.
The Real Work: Developing Healthy Coping Mechanisms
Quitting drinking is a complex process that goes well beyond simply giving up the physical act of drinking. We often associate alcohol with stress relief, relaxing, celebration, or as a social lubricant. Giving up alcohol means you need to develop new, healthy coping mechanisms to address these needs.
For moms, one of the most important skills we need to learn is emotional regulation. Parenting is highly overstimulating. The sudden loud noises and endless interruptions keeps your body in a constant state of high alert, often resulting in a large outburst. Practicing techniques like mindfulness, meditation, deep breathing, and journaling will help you be more able to sit in the chaos (like all good things, this will take time and effort.) The bonus? The more often you’re calm and regulated, the more often your kids will be too. The happy screams and loud noises will not stop, but you can handle those - right?
Another crucial skill for moms is self-compassion. If you haven’t heard of this before, the concept is that you talk to yourself like you’d talk to a good friend. We moms can be so hard on ourselves, constantly measuring ourselves against impossible standards of perfection. Self-compassion helps us recognize that being imperfect is part of being human, and breaks the cycle of negative self-talk and shame.
When we’ve relied on alcohol for getting through the tough moments, it can feel physically painful to sit through them. This is where stress management techniques can help. Getting regular exercise - even if you start at just 5 minutes a day - can greatly improve your resilience. Focusing on getting good sleep and taking care of your body will do a world of wonders for your mind. Take it a step further and start a yoga practice, or take up a creative hobby. My absolute favorite technique is getting outside in nature. There is nothing like looking up at the trees to help you gain perspective.
Taking steps to develop healthy coping mechanisms can lead to positive changes that extend far beyond sobriety. Adding stress-relieving practices like exercise, yoga, or meditation comes with the added bonus of improved physical health and a path to inner peace. Exploring new hobbies as a way to relax introduces you to new people and experiences, and can lead you to places you may never have expected.
For me, the sober curious journey empowered me to find alternative ways to manage the stress of motherhood. I relied on alcohol to get me through the tough moments, and as a way to decompress after a long day with kids. Now, I choose breathing exercises in the tough moments, and I read a book or go for a walk to decompress. Consistently getting better sleep has enabled me to exercise regularly, which really helps my energy levels. I feel so much better both mentally and physically. The biggest shift for me is a quiet(er) mind and a lack of drinking-related guilt.
These small, intentional changes add up. Sobriety is not a magic wand or a quick fix. But it is a powerful tool that can help you build a life you’ve only dreamed of. Sobriety is about empowering yourself to create the best version of you. You deserve a happy, joyful, peaceful life free from the hold of alcohol.
If this resonates with you, please reach out. I am truly here to help you. Book a free call, or just send me an email to chat.
-Jess
Related Posts
