One of the hardest parts of my sober curious journey was questioning if I was an alcoholic, since that seemed to be the only reason to pursue sobriety. What I eventually realized is that choosing sobriety does not make you an alcoholic. It’s about pursuing your full potential, prioritizing your physical and mental health, and living your best life.
We have been conditioned to believe that excessive drinking is a part of normal life. But do we ever stop to wonder if it’s negatively impacting our lives? Peer pressure and mommy wine culture can make it feel like everyone is drinking the same amount, and it’s hard to know if you are crossing the line.
The line is blurry. Make it simple. If you find yourself stuck in a cycle of drinking more than you intended and then feeling guilty for it, it’s time to re-evaluate your relationship with alcohol. Maybe you just need to cut back or take a break, or maybe it’s time to quit completely. You don’t have to decide right now. Just acknowledging that you need to change is a huge step, not to mention a sign of great strength.
Shifting your mindset
To be successful in quitting alcohol, you have to shift your mindset. Instead of thinking of it as quitting something that’s bad for you, re-frame your thinking to understand you’re excluding a substance that limits your potential. You are not losing anything when you give up alcohol. You're freeing yourself from the limitations that alcohol brings, in order to become the best version of yourself. Instead of focusing on whether or not you have a problem or what label you should give yourself, embrace the start of your journey to a better future.
Think about who you want to be, what the best version of yourself looks like. Do you want to be be present and patient instead of tired and irritable? Do you want to model healthy coping mechanisms, or teach them that alcohol is the solution to stress? What about your physical and mental health? Think about the future you want for yourself and how you can best get there. Will alcohol help you get there, or will it hold you back?
I came across a powerful clip where comedian James Corden shared his friend’s insightful question he asks himself when drinking alcohol: “how much of tomorrow do I want to borrow?” There is such beauty in the simplicity of this question. Alcohol may make you feel good in the moment, but who wakes up after a night of drinking feeling productive and energized? As you age, even one drink can result in a next-day headache or fogginess. Thinking about it from this perspective really helps you see how, problem or not, alcohol is holding you back from reaching your full potential.
It’s time to challenge the stigma around sobriety. We need to normalize making choices that are best for our health, even if it goes against the grain. You are choosing to not partake in an activity that limits your potential. You should be proud of yourself for this choice, not ashamed. You deserve nothing but the best in this life.
If you’re looking for a guide along the way, check out my coaching services.
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